Polonium's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[Saturday Night Bloodfest]

monotonous

As about 250 other people probably pointed out this is virtually a carbon copy of Smash TV, except slightly more polished and responsive, yet much easier and very dull. All the brown colors and the way every enemy looks and acts almost the same wears down on your level of interest long before you beat the last level, and by a quarter way through you've already hit the end of your weapon class tier so it becomes a complete waste of time to play. The host isn't even outrageous enough by far, in Smash TV he was never seen without either piles of money and/or hoes and just the dialogue was funny enough.

[Insult Generator V1]

aaa

regurgitated paedophile

[MoMiner]

eugh

if there is one word I'd use to sum this game up, it'd be 'boring'

it just reminds me of a much less dynamic and interesting version of motherload

[ScribbleSmile]

good god

for the love of the world, increase your framerate

the vague choppiness is extremely off-putting in a platforming game

BrutalBanana responds:

its @ 25.
retard.

[Barnacle Brawl]

hhhhhhhhhh

Well Seth, at least you added a 3D plane this time and a new weapon acquisition system, be careful or you might accidentally bring some innovation to your 500 exactly the same generic fighting games with exactly the same generic techno bullshit soundtracks

apart from that though, the one thing I would pick out as a major flaw is that you made the single worst running loop in the history of any sponsored animator/game designer - couldn't you have at least typed 'slow motion running' into youtube and studied from that?

but otherwise, everything is pretty reasonable - that sums the whole thing up really, nothing groundbreaking.

Cosmoseth responds:

You need to make a submission worth reviewing, so i can be as petty as you! :D

[MySweeper]

how

Do you even plant a flag? I fucking love Minesweeper but this just makes me weep.

[Qamorol]

fair idea

but horrendous control mechanic.

Did you even playtest this before you exported it?

[Zombie Survivor]

blah

game developers seriously need to stop using shitty placeholder zombies as enemies, with some kind of cardboard police specialist as the protagonist

it's been done to death and just shows a complete lack of any imagination

[Bubble Wrap]

it just doesn't

replicate the satisfaction of the real thing

[Fun Maze Game #2]

there seems

to be a bunch of errors in the hit detection, in a good couple of levels I've floated straight through the walls

also, I would recommend fixing your buttons because you have to hover over the actual black text instead of just the general vicinity of the button.

one final thought
don't use shitty zelda fan music

okay bye

AnimatorAC responds:

Why don't you like the music :(. I thought it was wonderful :D. Thanks anyway haha.