Polonium's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[R.A.M. I]

damn

I thought this cartoon was going to be about random access memory

it would've been much more interesting if it was

[Best Friends]

truly touching

You should make a sequel about incontinent middle-aged men who become work colleagues.

[the Last of the Dashkin]

two somewhat significant gripes

1. if I view this toon with Opera then the movie assumes the .swf is an illegal copy and a watermark obscures the movie; don't force me to use Firefox like that...!

2. your usage of Flash filters like blur and glow was rather vulgar and very processor-unfriendly; I always admired your ability to make things look stunning through traditional-ish methods and not lame digital effects, and you've let me down there

minus a point for each of those annoyances, but otherwise a predictably and consistently amazing job from you yet again

$

chluaid responds:

There's no watermark now. Apologies for the filters deal if it slowed things down for you. I'm making my shorts with video formats in mind these days but this one was pretty much solely for the NG audience. I'll be good from now on ;)

[L'autobus - The bus]

why

does everyone have red pupils? that's vaguely disturbing.

atomicenergy responds:

This is the style! ;)

[Gunny Bears]

well

the novelty of the stop-motion theme was neat, but as far as actual watchability goes it kind of falls short, even factoring in the difficulties of animating with sweets

very successful experiment, but I think weekly second is pushing it a li'l,

nevermind

[Shoe- "Egg"]

generic praise

you are delicious like caramel wrapped in fudge with those little processed sprinkles on that nobody you've ever met has actually liked but everyone just accepts their existence like it could never be any other way

SpamClamberton responds:

I do not accept their existence. Before I take a bite I close my eyes and scream "YOU'RE NOT REEEEAL!" and then shove the hole thing in my mouth at once.

[It's My Birthday Today]

you

are meant to have other people do this for you, ideally

happy 82nd birthday

Joey-Kazaam responds:

None of my friends have flash, they all just voice act, perhaps they should make an audio portal submission.

[rip splatter]

rop splitter

ripe splinter glock he will be m/

[cluck clit clack crip]

clunk day 2009

clsomething

Sinitron responds:

clunk dunk

[Jumper Stick]

oh wonderful

another movie when stickmen fight on some poorly drawn backgrounds while spouting bytes of 'snappy' dialogue

final scene: two powerful stickmen beat eachother up

I swear, the stick community is the least inspired flash scene since the madness community. There is not a single thing in a single frame of this turd that hasn't been replicated 10, 25, 50 times by other stick animators.

Are you just the same person working at varying degrees of mediocrity? None of you can seem to think of any original ideas. It's just another chunk of passably animated violence with shitty jokes and cardboard characters.

I don't care what your inspirations are, they still don't include anything that makes this toon watchable.

I don't believe that all stick movies are unoriginal, but I do believe that everything should bring something interesting or new to the table at some point.

KorboDuo responds:

fuck off turd of the week